How to Win Friends and Influence People at Work

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie was first published in 1937. It was an overnight sensation, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, influencing countless business leaders, politicians and millions of ordinary people.  Warren Buffett, for example, doesn’t display his diplomas or other educational achievements on his wall in Omaha, Nebraska, but he does proudly show off his completion certificate for the “Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking, Leadership Training, and the Art of Winning Friends and Influencing people”, dated January 23 1952.

“We don’t need to be friends with our coworkers, but we all can get along,” says Anthony Allen Anderson – VP of Sales and Marketing at GSI Exchange, a leading coin dealer and precious metals investment services company based in Calabasas, California,“the key is communication.”  It’s often the best way to prevent and resolve conflict before it reaches a manager’s desk.  Here are a few tips:

Say hello. At the cafeteria, in the elevator, at the water cooler, introduce yourself to new faces and try and be as warm and welcoming to familiar faces. Learn your coworkers’ names and regularly offer a friendly greeting.

Do unto others. Treat coworkers as you would like to be treated. Be considerate about noise from your office or cubicle.  If you are eating at your desk, be considerate about smells and garbage.

Know your differences. Make an effort to understand each other. Differences in age, ethnic background and years at the company can lead to different expectations or misunderstandings.

Consider the view. Keep your desk and common areas that others can see presentable.

Show appreciation. If your coworkers do something you like, let them know. They’ll be pleased you noticed, and it’ll be easier to talk later if they do something you don’t like.

Stay positive. Most people don’t try to create problems. If a coworker does something that irritates you, don’t assume it was deliberate.

Talk honestly. Tolerance is important, but don’t let a real irritation go because it seems unimportant or hard to discuss. Let your coworkers know if something they do annoys.

Be respectful. Talk directly to your coworkers if there’s a problem. Gossiping with others can damage relationships and create trouble.

Remain calm. If a coworker mentions a problem they have with you, thank them for the input. You don’t have to agree or justify any behavior. Wait for any anger to subside before responding.

Listen carefully. When discussing a problem, try to understand your coworker’s position and why he or she feels that way.

Take your time. Take a break to think about what you and your coworker have discussed. Arrange to finish the conversation at another time.

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